Trust Issues, Chapter 1

The only person who wants to read about your childhood: Your parents, just to make sure they’re not being portrayed in some terrible light.

Trust Issues

 My mother coupled with abusive men, which spiraled our lives into chaos, and often. Her mother, my maternal grandmother, walked out when my mother was nine years old. I remember my mother telling me that she cannot be blamed for not being a good mother because she had no example to follow.  I never understood how my mother became such a train wreck.  

Even at a young age, I took care of my brother and sister often. My brother and I were in constant disagreement, like most siblings are when they’re young. He and I were only one year and ten months apart in age. He was small for his age, and I was tall for mine.  In my earliest memories my mother was about to be married for the second time. I was seven. With a rambunctious younger brother, and a new baby in the house, I stopped existing.  My newborn sister replaced whatever was missing in my mother. I suppose my life was upsetting to my mother, so, I spent many summers with my paternal grandparents, especially in my teens. My mother couldn’t stand to look at me. She spent so much time slandering my father’s side of the family. She simply gave up on me.